We should be known by our love. Sadly though, the whole concept of love seems to be dying in our culture. There are so many different interpretations of love out there and the result is that most people don’t know what real love is.
Allow me to explain. I love hockey. Growing up, it was something I did almost every day of the week, even during the summer. Now that I am older, I have grown to love football. I think I have always loved apple pie. I love taking a nap on a Sunday afternoon. Finally, I need to tell you that I love my wife. But notice the problem with those statements? How can I love all of those things? Is my love for each of those things the same? What is it that binds them together, or distinguishes them from each other.
My love for my wife is the only love I listed for people. All the other loves in my life were about stuff, things or activities. We have come to associate love with those things that bring us positive emotional experiences. Love in our society has been equated with an emotion, that response we get when something great has happened and we get the tingle down our spine. So whatever brought that tingle is what we love. But that is a lie. So, I love hockey because of the adrenaline rush I got playing it. I love apple pie because of the taste and texture in my mouth. I love apple pie because of the way it makes me feel. Well, that isn’t real love. That is more lust than anything. Love is a different matter. Love is not an emotion but a choice. Love is the conscious choice we make to put the needs, desires, and interests of something or someone else above our own needs, desires and interests. When we make that choice, we have made the choice to love. Emotions of pleasure and attachment will come, but love is a choice.
Lets assume that my wife wants to visit Hawaii, and I want to visit Quebec City. If I love her, I will be willing to set aside my interests and goals in order for her to accomplish hers. So, instead of Quebec City, we visit Hawaii. Well that seems easy, but what if she wants a night out with the ‘girls’ and I want to watch some playoff hockey with ‘the guys’? Who wins? Who stays home to watch the kids? If I love her, I will watch the kids, so that she can have her night out. That is love. Some will be quick to say, well it should be 50/50. The answer is no. If I love my wife, I choose to let her win all the time. That doesn’t mean she won’t reciprocate, but I choose to always have her interests, her desires at the forefront of my mind. To love someone is to spend our lives seeing that they thrive.
Allow me to share with you a story that I read in the Denver Post that makes for a perfect illustration of love. This past summer a lady from Colorado was out on a boat ride with family. Somehow her two year old son fell overboard. Not wasting a moment, Chelsey Russell, the mother, jumps into the water to save her child. Without a thought for her own needs, she jumps in, and with all the strength that she has keeps her son above water. Now it is not clear to me all the details, but somehow the family was able to rescue the boy, but by the time they reached for Chelsea, she was already unconscious. They were never able to revive her. She died, giving up all her rights, interests and desires to keep her son alive. She gave up her life, so that her son could live on. That is love. Love doesn’t always have to lead to our death, but it will always involve sacrifice.
The only thing that better illustrates love would be the historical events of Jesus. When God sent His one and only Son into this world, to serve us, to minister to us, and eventually to die for us. That is the one perfect picture of love. Will we receive that love? What about choosing to love others? Will you extend that act of love, that denial of self in order to accommodate and satisfy the needs and interests of others who are not our children? What about those who are not in our family? Will we choose to love them? Will we show love to those down the street? What about that guy right next door? Have you chosen to love?